The only thing that made being forced to work at least four solid hours was this letter we got in the mail (the scanned file was corrupted or else you would have seen the neat, slightly cramped cursive writing that adorned the unlined piece of paper):June 2ndDear Michael JacksonI have been a fan of yours for 2 years, and have enjoyed your songs.My favorite is "BEAT IT". I always sing it.Your songs are exciting for me.Some people don't understand you well, so they thinkyou are a criminal, but I don't think so.You are too nice a man.I would be happy...
Monday, 30 June 2008
Friday, 27 June 2008
Saturday, 21 June 2008
[The following is a recurring boutique flashback/nightmare I have. Man. Those were the days...]Every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday I hob knob with the rich and pedigreed. I sell them fancy French lotion. When my clients purse their lips in disgust I’m supposed to mirror their expression. It’s a sales technique I picked up from Andy Bernard, initially as a joke but now I actually furrow my brow and say, “Not in love with this?” with so...
Thursday, 19 June 2008
There are commutes and then there are Commutes. Yesterday I had a Commute To End All Commutes. It started out normal: briskly walk from Georgetown to Foggy Bottom (I will forever hold a grudge against those lame-bots who voted against a GT metro stop), just make the 5:45 towards Franconia, suffer through a series of stop and go's (plus the downright bad music blaring, in orchestra, from several iPods), race up the Pentagon escalator and squeeze onto...
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
You will marry Jason Bourne.After a wild honeymoon, you will settle down in DC in your fabulous Apartment.You will have 777 kids together.The family will zoom around in a orchid race car.You will spend your days as a receptionist, and live happily ever after.The best part is that I'm a receptionist NOW! This is a totally feasible future for me! And adoption, rig...
Saturday, 14 June 2008
Thursday, 12 June 2008
i.e. new blog! (as if I didn't already waste enough time at work...) well, actually, I wouldn't even call this a waste of time. This is probably the most productive thing I do everyday. Basically here's what was up: I desperately needed to get out of a creative rut I dug myself into (slowly, imperceptibly over the past year) so I wanted to start a sketchbook. I wanted a space where I could go everyday to see something intriguing that might help me to get my brain up and working again. So I recruited a few brilliant, wise, and lovely friends (Patricia,...
Wednesday, 11 June 2008
If there is a single phrase in the office lexicon that I hate more than “It would be my pleasure” (it would not, it would never be) it is this: “I need it done, like, yesterday!” This was funny that one time on that one reality television show when the contestants were hurrying to do something and they needed it done STAT. It was funny—sort of—that one time my friend jokingly said it/emailed it/gchat statted it. It stopped being funny after precisely one usage when my boss said it in reference to a paper he needed in his hands, like, Right That...
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