Office Lexion: Tedious at Best

If there is a single phrase in the office lexicon that I hate more than “It would be my pleasure” (it would not, it would never be) it is this: “I need it done, like, yesterday!” This was funny that one time on that one reality television show when the contestants were hurrying to do something and they needed it done STAT. It was funny—sort of—that one time my friend jokingly said it/emailed it/gchat statted it. It stopped being funny after precisely one usage when my boss said it in reference to a paper he needed in his hands, like, Right That Second. And then he said it again. And then my manager started saying it. And now it is, like, their most favorite phrase in the world.

I suppose, in retrospect, I still don’t mind the phrase outside of the office—though I am nearly 100% certain that Larval Lisa might have used it on Top Chef, which pretty much decimates the phrase for me...