Office Lexion: Tedious at Best

If there is a single phrase in the office lexicon that I hate more than “It would be my pleasure” (it would not, it would never be) it is this: “I need it done, like, yesterday!” This was funny that one time on that one reality television show when the contestants were hurrying to do something and they needed it done STAT. It was funny—sort of—that one time my friend jokingly said it/emailed it/gchat statted it. It stopped being funny after precisely one usage when my boss said it in reference to a paper he needed in his hands, like, Right That Second. And then he said it again. And then my manager started saying it. And now it is, like, their most favorite phrase in the world.

I suppose, in retrospect, I still don’t mind the phrase outside of the office—though I am nearly 100% certain that Larval Lisa might have used it on Top Chef, which pretty much decimates the phrase for me...

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Love Song to Corolla Beach, or I Love Days When:

Bike wheels slish slosh through wet sand
Shells mince architecture down to palm size
Salted wind knots hair akimbo
Sundresses fall just so
Stars hold up sky (mightily, with luster)
Night falls with each unfurling wave.

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"A Perpetual Tan"

Today Ryan told me that he thinks "pink is okay to wear year round (pink shirts, that is), but white pants can only come out in weather like this" (points expansively out at the delectable day). Another word of caution: "In winter you can't really get away with colors like yellow or green." Luckily, "this is the kind of day where I can wear my mint green pants." "What about kelly green?" I asked (turns out that reading J.Crew catalogs comes in real handy when trying to converse with the ultimate prepster). A look of disgust passes forcibly across his face: "I NEVER wear kelly green." I chose that exact moment to stand up and reveal my own kelly green skirt.

Ryan looks uncannily like George Hamilton. From a distance, I get a tad swoony because I see this.

Close up, however (and especially lately), I can't divorce him from this:


Worse, he has perfect white circles around his eyes (tell tale signs of his tanning bed goggles). His perpetual tan may become this summer's perfect storm.

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Fell for the Hype

I mocked, I rolled my eyes, I even laughed...but then Safeway on a Monday night happened. And it was good.

Thanks, Tropicana.

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new york state of mind

what i like best about my job:
1. our huge, panoramic windows framing georgetown--all steeples, treetops, and clean, blue sky.
2. this marble desktop. it makes me feel luxe in a good way.
3. keeping up with friends (who are so dear).

friends like these:


with moves like this:


and this:


and let's not forget this:


(or maybe I should say: friends who understand when I dance like all of the above...)

note: i do not like actually having to work at work. which the above list should prove.

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Amazing

After 9,000 years of silence, Chile's Chaitén volcano (pictured on May 3) is erupting with lava, ash—and lightning.

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MJ: Kind of like Santa

The best part about mail call is that sometimes we get letters that look like this:

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