Occasionally I attempt to be an adult, often with little to no success. But yesterday proved to be a turning point: 1) I went to work 2) I did work for 5 consecutive hours 3) I got an oil change on my way home from work. Totally grown up, right? What's better is that while I was getting my oil changed I also became a grown man's object of desire!
It happened like this: [Jiffy Lube man entering my information into the computer, me awkwardly standing by his elbow trying to remember my license plate number]
Jiffy Lube Man: "This is your number, yes?"
Me: "Um..."
JLM: "No worries, I will go check for you."
Me: [Relieved, nodding]
JLM: "It is not." [Looks me up and down] "Can I just say something, and I do not want it to be uncomfortable in any way because you see I am a married man" [my heart drops as he looks me soulfully in the eyes] "You are just so...damn...beautiful!"
Me: [enter awkward smile here]
JLM: "No really, I mean it." [Takes a step back to examine me in full then snaps his fingers while his eyes light up.] "Yes! I know! It is because you smile with your eyes!"
I think it also helped that, after one full month of living out of my suitcase like a hobo, I finally addressed the finer aspects of grooming. Like, say, washing my hair, wearing clean clothes, and putting on actual make up. Just a few tricks of the trade...
But thanks, JLM! With my new boost in confidence I feel ready and willing to take on the world!
*Bonus: JLM knocked five whole dollars off of my ticket!
0 comments:
Post a Comment